Do you ever wonder why we worry? I do. I mean it’s not like the act of worrying helps ward off trouble or anything. So why then do we do it? I was reading this morning in Melody Beattie’s A Journey to the Heart, and she suggests that worry is a form of self-punishment and not trusting. So I wonder to myself what is the purpose of worrying? Apparently nothing productive. Worrying is the just the act of manifesting our fears. “We get so caught up in our fears that we don’t take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves”, says Beattie. I was once told that what we focus on is what grows, so if worrying is the act of focusing on our fears maybe its power to make us feel better is just a self-concocted illusion that is really self-defeating. So why then is worrying so often our first line of defense? Why wouldn’t praying be a first line of defense instead? Is worrying just an aversion tactic to avoid praying? Do we have so little humility, that we would rather worry than get down on our knees? Is it only by drinking the poison of worry that we can be grateful for the grace of prayer?

I wonder why so many of us are plagued with the eroding defect of procrastination?

I frequently read passages from Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Adundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy and while all of her passages are good, some really cause words to press against my insides and compel me to write in exchange for my daily sanity. How often do I procrastinate and think I will do it later rather than seizing the moment of inspiration? And how often do I ever come back and do it later? Not very often. Procrastination is a corrosive thread that really has no place in and about a life of serenity. When I procrastinate, in my sub-conscious, all day I am focused on the thing I should have done, but didn’t do, whether I realize it or not. I am looking at the day with “glass-half-empty-glasses” focusing on lack rather than abundance. In her passage “Calling Forth Our Gifts”, Sarah explores the idea of procrastination in the context of choosing to pursue our gifts from Divine moments of inspiration and begins with the notion that we are all artists of our own life with the best of both worlds—the gift of “free will and the passion of serving.”

“The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birthgiver. I believe that each work of art, whether it is a work of great genius, or something very small, comes to the artist and says ‘Here I am. Enflesh me. Give birth to me.’ And the artist either says, ‘My soul doth magnify the Lord,’ and willingly becomes the bearer of the work, or refuses.” -Madeleine L’Engle from Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art.

Sarah goes on to say,

“Whether or not we serve is entirely our choice. God’s first gift to us is free will. Perhaps one day we’ll realize that it’s not the will of God we need to fear as much as being left to our own deceits and devices.”

It takes great courage oftentimes to say “No” and being able to say “No” is an ability that when left without can make one very miserable. But where is that invisible line between “No” and “Yes”? There really isn’t a universal answer to that because the answer is so personal to each person. But let me ask a more fundamental question. How often do we say “No” to moments of Divine Inspiration? Do we say,

“Sorry, find someone else. And Spirit will. To be fair, sometimes we don’t literally use those words. Sometimes we say ‘Sorry, I just can’t get my act together right now. Come back later.’ So the Great Creator moves on until a willing artist with an open heart offers to become the creative conduit. This scenario goes a long way in explaining why you are heartbroken, bewildered, and furious when, after diddling around for years, someone else…introduces to the world a creative idea so similar to yours it makes you swoon. The bottom line is that the Work must be brought forth. If you don’t do it, someone else will. So when the great idea flashes across your mind surrounded by Light, pay attention! Once it exists in your mind, realize that other brain waves soon will be able to pick up the creative energy pattern if they are receptive. Think of your mind as a satellite dish. Creative celestial messages are continuously being transmitted. The frequency is jammed—privy only to your soul.”

It’s almost as if for that moment God chooses the person whose mind the Idea has entered. And then what do we do with that gift from there? Do we act on it? Or do we let the circumstances of our day dictate that we can’t act upon our moment of inspiration thereby making an unconscious choice to say “No”? Isn’t procrastination really a cleverly disguised form of saying “No”? Yet it is so baffling because we think we are just saying “No” for the moment when really, in our hearts, we know we won’t come back to it. Someone once told me that 99.9% of my decisions I wasn’t making. At first, I didn’t understand that and I was even more confused after he supported his point, but I have pondered that over the years letting the clarity I sought ruminate in my mind and today, I understand why this is a true statement. At the root of it lies procrastination!

I wonder why it is that “we let people run around ‘naked’ and pretend to admire the hat they are wearing”?

Recently, I was reading a passage from Jesus, CEO by Laurie Beth Jones. This is a book that I have had for a long while, but just recently decided to pick it up. The particular point she is making in this passage speaks to “calling the question”.

She goes on to say how amazing it is that we often honor each others’ illusions. This really struck home with me because I can recall a time when I was so wrapped up in the web of my own illusions, I had no idea I was not living in reality. People would try to tell me and I would argue “What do you mean it’s an illusion? It can’t be an illusion, I am living this! This IS reality! MY reality!”

Finally, it came down to someone pulling a Dr. Phil on me. “Well, Lisa, how’s that reality of yours working for you?” And the truth was, it was not working well at all! But I didn’t have the first clue how to change it.

It is amazing how people will suddenly fall silent when confronted with their own personal power. It is much easier to whine than to decide. (pg. 94, Jesus, CEO)

Why is this, I wonder? I have recently come to learn that putting life into ACTION is of utmost importance to me if I want to live a rich, full life—the kind upon which I can reflect in hindsight and have no regrets, yet have many stories and lessons learned. While there is certainly a time for talking and discussing, I am learning that is way overrated. What is underrated is taking action. And I don’t know about you, but sometimes the only way I can get out of my quagmire is for someone to call the question. “What are you going to do about it, Lisa?” or “What’s one action you can take to make progress right now?”

I can get so far into tomorrow, that I get paralyzed in today. But when someone calls the question that usually brings me to action. And action is where the fruit of living lies.

I read today, in one of my morning meditations, about Reverence and found what it said to be worth sharing. Reverence is not something that, prior to today, I have spent alot of time thinking about, but it is something I experience quite frequently. It was said that

Reverence is that altered state of consciousness when you feel awe and wonder because you know you are in the presence of the Spirit. Reverence enwraps you in perfect peace because there is not past nor future, only the present moment.

The reading goes on to say “look for the sacred in the ordinary with a grateful heart”. So for today, I think I will do just that.

Just for Today…I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

I read this today and thought to myself that implies that happiness is a choice. When this idea of happiness being a choice was first brought to my attention several years ago, that conflicted so strongly with my belief system, I assumed it must be a lie. But the more I thought about that as a possibility, the more I thought “Wouldn’t that be nice”. And still yet, the more I thought about it some more, I thought “Maybe they know something I don’t”. So, very slowly, my ideas about happiness began to be riddled full of holes and over time, I began to realize that it was MY closely held belief about happiness that was the lie!

Today, I know that happiness is, in fact, a choice. But having a choice implies that I must choose it, consciously select something and sometimes I just plain forget that I have to make the choice to be happy. I passively backslide into old thinking patterns that tell me my happiness is determined by what is going on around me. What a powerless way to live! I don’t have much power over other people or outcomes, but I do have power over me. And I most definitely have the power to choose to be happy.

So then, I wonder, what action does one take to choose to be happy? Well, for me, sometimes it means setting a boundary or saying “No”. Sometimes, it means not starting a conversation with someone just to make a point that they’re wrong. Sometimes, it means having the discipline to do what needs to be done, so I am free to do what I want to do. Sometimes, it means asking for what I want and surrendering the answer to whomever I may be asking. Sometimes, choosing happy means alot of things, but always, choosing happiness means regardless of what is going on–good or bad–that I be intensely present.

Choosing happiness is exercising my faith muscle that everything has always been exactly as it should be and will always be exactly as it is supposed to be. If I believe that, then there is absolutely no reason to choose anything other than to be happy.

WOW! My first post on this new blog site!

I must admit I have procrastinated a little on this, I guess because I was trying to think of something to say that would be appropriate for a first post. I finally decided that no amount of swarming ideas around in my head was going to yield any great revelations. I just needed to take the first step, which is always the hardest. I suppose I am learning that it is better to to put something out there than to do nothing until it’s perfect.

To tell you the truth, I really don’t know how this particular blog will evolve. I just know that I wonder about alot of things as I casually observe everyday living and draw analogies to the fruit of life. I suppose, to some degree, we all search for that sweet spot of life that so often eludes us. And I have found that drawing parallels of activities to living life at its fullest is a spectacular way to see the world in a new, enlightening way getting us one step closer to understanding ourselves, our Purpose and our lives.

So you might say this blog site is motivated by seeking self-discovery in the curiosity of life’s wonders. However it evolves, whatever it becomes, I hope that it will enrich your soul with exactly what you are seeking, exactly when you need it.