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Drought of Inspiration July 27, 2008

Do you ever wonder why we must have times without purposeful vision?  Or times without inspiration?  In the midst of times like these I am prey to wonder what is the purpose of this?  Why must I go thru times like these?

Over the last several weeks, I have found myself vacillating in and out of times just like this.  And it seems to me, although my perception is not always reality, that it’s happening at a time when I desperately need vision and the inspiration to carry it out.  I have the fortunate responsibility of being at the helm of a rapidly growing company and times without vision or inspiration just seem to be an unnecessary stall in the grand scheme of things.

But let me tell you the flip side of this same coin.  Work has always been a place where I could isolate from living life, all the while thinking I was living life.  Funny how we can delude ourselves!  It was so easy to conjure up delusions of grandeur about how I was making a difference with my work, all the while relationships with people I cared about the most were going unattended.   Long story short, I had wrapped up my identity in my work so much that the two became inseparable.  Somewhere along the way, work was no longer just work, it became who I was.  The unfortunate nature of finding yourself in this place is that when you realize that your “works” have become your life source, you must also admit that you are without faith.  Faith without works is dead and works can’t substitute for faith no matter how many times you attend church.

So in the midst of coming to truths with this realization, I began praying earnestly for relief from the bondage of work.  This has, no doubt, been a process and not an event.  And for as long as I was work-identified, it will most likely be a life-long process.  But more is always revealed.

And more has been revealed.  During these times without vision or inspiration, I have discovered it is a really awesome experience to become aware of how God is answering your prayers, but still be experiencing the change.  Most of my experience before now has been the realization of a prayer being answered after the fact, not so much during the process of change.  And I am always in awe of how my prayers get answered.  It is never simple, it’s always complex and much richer and deeper than I expected.  Answered prayers always catch me by surprise.

So I now unequivocally understand my truth about this drought of vision and inspiration.  As someone who, for the better part of my working life, has always been blessed with vision and inspiration, I learned to over-rely on that gift in the vein of seeking my identity thru work.  In the process of earnestly seeking redemption from the bondage of work and being willing to do things differently, these times of drought have been a blessing.  While I have felt disconnected without vision and inspiration, it has also left me with nothing to which I could attach myself.  It is almost like God’s gift of time-off, so that I could start to learn what it feels like to have balance between work and rest.  To learn work’s proper place in my life.  To have work, but not be identified with it.  To know that being grateful for work is not the same as being identified with work.   To learn that being responsible for my contribution to the finances is not a license to work to the detriment of important personal relationships.  To learn that a life’s work does not mean I must spend all of my life at work.  To learn that time-off from work is just as critical work as the work itself.  To learn that work is a part of life, but being a part does not make it the whole.

The Poison of Worry June 21, 2008

Do you ever wonder why we worry? I do. I mean it’s not like the act of worrying helps ward off trouble or anything. So why then do we do it? I was reading this morning in a daily devotional by Melody Beattie, “A Journey to the Heart“, and she suggests that worry is a form of self-punishment and not trusting. So I wonder to myself what is the purpose of worrying? Apparently nothing productive. Worrying is the just the act of manifesting our fears. “We get so caught up in our fears that we don’t take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves”, says Beattie. I was once told that what we focus on is what grows, so if worrying is the act of focusing on our fears maybe its power to make us feel better is just a self-concocted illusion that is really self-defeating. So why then is worrying so often our first line of defense? Why wouldn’t praying be a first line of defense instead? Is worrying just an aversion tactic to avoid praying? Do we have so little humility, that we would rather worry than get down on our knees? Is it only by drinking the poison of worry that we can be grateful for the grace of prayer?

Right Balance…Left Brain??? September 18, 2007

I wonder if your ability to physically balance on one side vs. the other is any indication of the balance in your analytical (left-brained) life and your creative (right-brained life)??? I am taking this yoga class and today we were working on balancing poses. As we switch from the left side to the right side, I observe myself having better, more stoic balance on my right side. I wonder to myself “Is this is any indication that I may have better balance in my creative life today than I do my analytical life?” I am right-handed, so perhaps my fine motor skills are more tuned on my right side. I considered this possibility, but it still left me wondering. Now that I am consciously aware of this, I will watch myself over the coming weeks and see if my physical balance wanes from one side to the other congruent with my insides. I have been told that things is the physical world are only a manifestation of my inner world. Perhaps I am getting more insight than I bargained for with this yoga class!

The Divine YES! September 11, 2007

I wonder why so many of us are plagued with the eroding defect of procrastination?

I frequently read passages from Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Adundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy and while all of her passages are good, some really cause words to press against my flesh and compel me to write in exchange for my daily sanity. How often do I procrastinate and think I will do it later rather than seizing the moment of inspiration? And how often do I ever come back and do it later? Not very often. Procrastination is a corrosive thread that really has no place in and about a life of serenity. When I procrastinate, in my sub-conscious, all day I am focused on the thing I should have done, but didn’t do, whether I realize it or not. I am looking at the day with “glass-half-empty-glasses” focusing on lack rather than abundance. In her passage “Calling Forth Our Gifts”, Sarah explores the idea of procrastination in the context of choosing to pursue our gifts from Divine moments of inspiration and begins with the notion that we are all artists of our own life with the best of both worlds—the gift of “free will and the passion of serving.”

“The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birthgiver. I believe that each work of art, whether it is a work of great genius, or something very small, comes to the artist and says ‘Here I am. Enflesh me. Give birth to me.’ And the artist either says, ‘My soul doth magnify the Lord,’ and willingly becomes the bearer of the work, or refuses.” -Madeleine L’Engle from Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art.

Sarah goes on to say,

“Whether or not we serve is entirely our choice. God’s first gift to us is free will. Perhaps one day we’ll realize that it’s not the will of God we need to fear as much as being left to our own deceits and devices.”

It takes great courage often times to say “No” and being able to say “No” is an ability that when left without can make one very miserable. But where is that invisible line between “No” and “Yes”? There really isn’t a universal answer to that because the answer is so personal to each person. But let me ask a more fundamental question. How often do we say “No” to moments of Divine Inspiration? Do we say,

“Sorry, find someone else. And Spirit will. To be fair, sometimes we don’t literally use those words. Sometimes we say ‘Sorry, I just can’t get my act together right now. Come back later.’ So the Great Creator moves on until a willing artist with an open heart offers to become the creative conduit. This scenario goes a long way in explaining why you are heartbroken, bewildered, and furious when, after diddling around for years, someone else…introduces to the world a creative idea so similar to yours it makes you swoon. The bottom line is that the Work must be brought forth. If you don’t do it, someone else will. So when the great idea flashes across your mind surrounded by Light, pay attention! Once it exists in your mind, realize that other brain waves soon will be able to pick up the creative energy pattern if they are receptive. Think of your mind as a satellite dish. Creative celestial messages are continuously being transmitted. The frequency is jammed—privy only to your soul.”

It’s almost as if for that moment God chooses the person whose mind the Idea has entered. And then what do we do with that gift from there? Do we act on it? Or do we let the circumstances of our day dictate that we can’t act upon our moment of inspiration thereby making an un-conscious choice to say “No”? Isn’t procrastination really a cleverly disguised form of saying “No”? Yet it is so baffling because we think we are just saying “No” for the moment when really, in our hearts, we know we won’t come back to it. Someone once told me that 99.9% of my decisions I wasn’t making. At first I didn’t understand that and I was even more confused after he supported his point, but I have pondered that over the years letting the clarity I sought ruminate in my mind and today, I understand why this is a true statement. At the root of it lies procrastination!

Calling the Question March 5, 2007

I wonder why it is that “we let people run around ‘naked’ and pretend to admire the hat they are wearing”?

Recently, I was reading a passage from Jesus, CEO by Laurie Beth Jones. This is a book that I have had for a long while, but just recently decided to pick it up. The particular point she is making in this passage speaks to “calling the question”.

She goes on to say how amazing it is that we often honor each others’ illusions. This really struck home with me because I can recall a time when I was so wrapped up in the web of my own illusions, I had no idea I was not living in reality. People would try to tell me and I would argue “What do you mean it’s an illusion? It can’t be an illusion, I am living this! This IS reality! MY reality!”

Finally, it came down to someone pulling a Dr. Phil on me. “Well, Lisa, how’s that reality of yours working for you?” And the truth was, it was not working well at all! But I didn’t have the first clue how to change it.

We love to discuss more than we like to decide. (pg 93, Jesus, CEO)

It is amazing how people will suddenly fall silent when confronted with their own personal power. It is much easier to whine than to decide. (pg. 94, Jesus, CEO)

Why is this, I wonder? I have recently come to learn that putting life into ACTION is of utmost importance to me if I want to live a rich, full life—the kind upon which I can reflect in hindsight and have no regrets, yet have many stories and lessons learned. While there is certainly a time for talking and discussing, I am learning that is way overrated. What is underrated is taking action. And I don’t know about you, but sometimes the only way I can get out of my quagmire is for someone to call the question. “What are you going to do about it, Lisa?” or “What’s one action you can take to make progress right now?”

I can get so far into tomorrow, that I get paralyzed in today. But when someone calls the question that usually brings me to action. And action is where the fruit of living lies.

Enriching the Soul of Life January 25, 2007

WOW! My first post on this new blog site!

I must admit I have procrastinated a little on this, I guess because I was trying to think of something to say that would be appropriate for a first post. I finally decided that no amount of swarming ideas around in my head was going to yield any great revelations. I just needed to take the first step, which is always the hardest. I suppose I am learning that it is better to to put something out there than to do nothing until it’s perfect.

To tell you the truth, I really don’t know how this particular blog will evolve. I just know that I wonder about alot of things as I casually observe everyday living and draw analogies to the fruit of life. I suppose, to some degree, we all search for that sweet spot of life that so often eludes us. And I have found that drawing parallels of activities to living life at its fullest is a spectacular way to see the world in a new, enlightening way getting us one step closer to understanding ourselves, our Purpose and our lives.

So you might say this blog site is motivated by seeking self-discovery in the curiosity of life’s wonders. However it evolves, whatever it becomes, I hope that it will enrich your soul with exactly what you are seeking, exactly when you need it.