Boundaries on Encouragement

Boundaries on Encouragement

I wonder why we push our loved ones to pursue the things at which they seem naturally gifted?  Is what appears like encouragement really our own selfish desire to avoid the pain it causes US to see a loved one ‘piss away their talents’?

This seems like such a ‘normal’ and healthy thing to do for a loved one and we do it under the guise of ‘encouragement’.  But where do we cross that invisible line from being encouraging to creating a ‘should’ for them–unintentionally making the things at which they are naturally gifted an obligation to meet our expectations, rather than a pursuit of joy?

Should we not all have the opportunity to genuinely pursue our interests for the sake of their intrinsic pleasure and be free from our loved one’s expectations?

Someone told me once “Say it once and that’s fine, but if you find yourself saying it repeatedly, that’s controlling.”  Do we try to control or loved ones and make it look like ‘encouragement’?

New Definition of Encouragement for Loved Ones:  Create space and opportunity for them to pursue their interests and let them do with it as they see fit, even if that appears like nothing.

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